I Feel so Dirty and Violated

I got to work today and found that a window in my portable building had been broken out and raised. Upon closer inspection, my desktop computer, mouse, keyboard, and printer were conspicuously absent. Next, I found my rolling cart (previously used to house my Samsung MP3 player, laptop, and digital projector) across the room. The only thing remaining was my 1989 pioneer tuner/amp (100w per channel) and my pair of twin 9 inch sub-woofer tower speakers (also pioneer) that were banned by Jana when we were wed. Even in my "ghetto" school, thieves must have standards.

I'm not dead!

It has been sometime since I last posted. My family and I are trying to adjust to school this year. It has been crazy so far. I have some things to post but it will be another day or two.

Jackman the "Fishin' Buddy"

Jana and Bryson were in OK for several days last week. That left Jackson, Addie and me at home alone. Jackson is used to playing with (doing Bryson's bidding) Bryson. Jack wanted to go fishing so we all went. On the way, Jack asked, "Dad, am I your fishin' buddy?" I said, "Yes!" These are some of the fruits of our labor. Surprisingly, Addie wanted nothing to do with the "pish."

Saturday, I was cleaning and doing the laundry. When I went to Jack's room to put away his clothes, I noticed he had no socks in his drawer. Most of you would not know the sock issues that afflicts Jack. It is just this side of OCD. Anyway, I asked him, "Jack, where are your socks?" He said, "I packed them." Jack is ready to go to the "Pond" aka OK. He brought his backpack to me. When I looked inside, he had packed all of his socks...dress socks...socks without matches...everything sock related. In addition, he had rat-holed 15 or 20 Star Wars "guys" in the bottom of his pack. He said, "I packed for 'Okahoma'." Funny! Grandmother and Granddad, get ready for a mostly naked yet fully socked Jackman carrying Han Solo, Luke, or some other character.

Mackerel Monday

Jack's big catch at our neighborhood pond.

How do I love thee....

I want to tell everyone a little about my wife. Her name is Jana Renee McKay Simmons. She is the most incredible person to walk the Earth in a couple thousand years. I love her very much and appreciate her to death. We have so much fun when we are together. I love to work with Jana. We have completed so many projects together over the years. She works very hard and does a wonderful job at everything. This weekend, we (by we I mean she) painted our bedroom. It looks awesome (http://janasimmons.blogspot.com/). Since the spring, she has painted every room except Bryson's room and the guest bathroom, which are next on the list.

On the 4th, we got to go to Springtown to spend time with our Sunday school class (thanks to Brent, LeAnn and Parker County). I really enjoy spending time with our friends. Jana and I got to play horseshoes together for the first time. We won of course. Besides her beauty, Jana is quite accomplished as an athlete. What a physique! What great form! I love the way she works and plays. After dark, the fire works began bursting in air. It became apparent after the first explosion that Addison was not into POW POWS. Jana took her inside and let me fulfill my innate need to blow things up. The boys were able to nurture the pyro in us all. Thanks sweetie!

Jana is also a great mommy. I am more serious as a parent. I find that I am a lot like my dad. Not Jana, she loves to get down and play or read with our kids. I am trying to let some things go and be more fun but sometimes it is difficult for me. I love to watch Jana with the kids...so awesome to see. This weekend was a great reminder of how God hooked me up with the perfect woman. Thank you God for your gift that keeps on giving!

Wild Weekend Monday

That was one crazy weekend. Friday, I began rearranging some things. I used to rearrange my room when I was a kid and still like the change. As a teacher, a mix things up pretty often. After the first six weeks, my students don't even complain anymore. Jana and I spent time together preparing for Addie's big day.

Saturday, we had a big party for Addie's 2nd birthday. I love to have people at our house. I think it has rubbed off on Bryson. He gets upset when we are not having company. "We have not had anyone over in two weeks." We have had many gatherings but this one may have been the largest (37 party animals). Unfortunately, we had 8 people that could not make it. That would have definitely been the largest group ever. I know that we had a blast and enjoyed the time with family and friends. Thanks to everybody!

Sunday, was our Anniversary. Jana and I have been married for 12 years. I feel like I have always known her. It has been well documented how we met (Read Simply Simmons). I knew the minute I saw her that she was the one. We are perfect for each other in so many ways. We celebrated by straightening up a bit. I decided a while back to separate the boys into 2 rooms. They have always shared. I spent several hours moving and shifting clothes and furniture. Afters hours of sweating and lifting, the boys slept together in Bryson's new room. I love the irony.

I do not have anything scriptural today. I know you are all disappointed but check back in a few days.

Thirty Word Story Thursday

Want to go swimming?

No babing suit!

Wook...it's a bird...too loud, it's a plane...

not x-ray vision, but pretty close.

It was a beautiful end to our day.

Family Jewels and other Junk (puns intended to amplify comedic value)

I would like to issue an apology in advance to my mother (whom I call blessed), the easily offended, and to ladies without brothers or sons. My intention is to relate my life to scripture I am reading. Leviticus, Numbers, and Deuteronomy are not exactly easy reading but I try.

Lately our house has been invaded by testicular humor. I have 2 boys and 2 brothers that think that region is just funny. It has always seemed a plentiful source of humor. Testicles, as my mother would have preferred us to call them, have so many interesting and colorful euphemisms. The old standards are still quite good but modern times have brought us some funny alternatives like tenders, nuggets, batteries, and franks and beans. My boys, thanks to Hollywood, prefer tenders and batteries. I get a sense of pride that my boys too find the privates a source of light-hearted humor. Jana has informed me that I will be receiving all calls from school officials if ball humor rears it ugly head (no pun intended) during school hours. I will, with great humility, accept the phone call and listen intently while trying to stifle the laughter that will undoubtedly be trying to force it's way from the bowels (another limitless abyss of funnies) of my sub-cockles (you're giggling, admit it). My mom thought us crude for using terms like nuts, but she could never comprehend the catastrophic ostracizing that would accompany the utterance of the scientific term "testicles" around friends or foes.

If you have been reading my blog entries, you know that I am reading through the bible. Today I was reading in Deuteronomy. Pretty standard stuff...do this...do that...don't do this...don't do that. If this...then that. More times than not, the that was death. Anyway, my brakes locked up completely when I arrived at Deuteronomy 25:11-12. It's funny how things in the Bible can mirror things relevant in my life. Exhibit A:

NIV
11 If two men are fighting and the wife of one of them comes to rescue her husband from his assailant, and she reaches out and seizes him by his private parts, 12 you shall cut off her hand. Show her no pity.

THE MESSAGE
11-12 When two men are in a fight and the wife of the one man, trying to rescue her husband, grabs the genitals of the man hitting him, you are to cut off her hand. Show no pity.

KING JAMES
11When men strive together one with another, and the wife of the one draweth near for to deliver her husband out of the hand of him that smiteth him, and putteth forth her hand, and taketh him by the secrets:
12Then thou shalt cut off her hand, thine eye shall not pity her.

NEW CENTURY VERSION
11 If two men are fighting and one man's wife comes to save her husband from his attacker, grabbing the attacker by his sex organs,12 you must cut off her hand. Show her no mercy.

You can just imagine the smoke boiling behind me as my mental steel-belted radials were screeching and swerving all over the intellectual highway. Even bible scholars and learned men cannot reach a consensus on this most sensitive region. These all-stars of academia must have racked (once again, no pun intended) their brains and contorted their bodies trying to tiptoe across the testicle tightrope. I giggle picturing men in robes with the duty of translating the most important and influential document every written trying to decide on the right wording. I guess it is fortunate that the charge of interpretation fell to someone else. I would not have the stones (pun intended)!

Waiting at Dr.'s office, water to boil, paint to dry...

What do these activities have in common? They are all things more exciting that Leviticus and Numbers. I'm in summer school and decided to read a bit. I read Leviticus and 18 chapters in Numbers. I will be glad to get past the hard headed Tribes of Abraham. They have a lot in common with my summer school kids. They whine, complain and give up easily. I'll give it to the tribes, they will repent and change for a while. Of course, if I could stone or burn one or more of my slackers, it would encourage the others to modify their behavior as well.

Bryson had his lip surgery yesterday and is doing okay. There is some swelling but it looks better. He had some questions about why God made him that way. I really did not have an answer except that God has a reason. I told him that bad things come into our lives for a reason, we just do not always know the reasons right now. I don't think it helped but that was all I had. I still have many of those kinds of questions myself. Still waiting to see...

Just checking mobile posts again.

Summer School

Since I've posted, school has ended, vacation was taken, and school has begun again. I am teaching Summer School this summer. The money is nice but the kids are a whippin'. I have 24 or so kids and all of their motivation and determination would not fill the bladder of a gnat. I would love to see how these kids were raised. I'm almost positive that they have endured all manner of parenting atrocities. I remember being somewhat apathetic as a kid about some things but these kids really don't care about anything except self gratification.

I think I feel some lectures brewing on the Simmons Lecture Circuit. I know it may be like standing on a Galveston Jetty peeing into Hurricane Don't Give a Crap but it is what I do.

I have not made good progress reading through the bible lately. I have begun Leviticus. I am surely happy that we do not have to burn our offerings to God. Most would be too squeamish.

• 6) He is to skin the burnt offering and cut it into pieces.
• 13) He is to wash the inner parts and the legs with water, and the priest is to bring all of it and burn it on the altar.
• 15) The priest shall bring it to the altar, wring off the head and burn it on the altar; its blood shall be drained out on the side of the altar.
• 17 He shall tear it open by the wings, not severing it completely,

I thank God that he sent his son to be our sacrifice. He is good...all the time.

Awesome. I love new toys. Jana, you have to get up on some of this.

I am bored to death. I set up mobile posing and wanted to try it out.

Rules to live by...

God has it covered. After reading through chapter 24 of Exodus, I realized God had rules for everything. I was uncomfortable about the rules for slavery but intrigued by the others. I'll chalk it up to different time, different place, and different culture that I do not completely understand.

I think Dave Ramsey may not appreciate God's apparent green light for lending and borrowing money.

• Chapter 22, verse 25 "If you lend money to my people, to any of the down-and-out among you, don't come down hard on them and gouge them with interest."

I was a bit uncomfortable with Sunday's Dave Ramsey lesson. I get the principle (and it is sound), but I do not feel comfortable picking single verses, out of context, from the Bible to make a point. Context is everything. My dad once told be to be wary of such constructed lessons. He said, partially in jest, that he could use single verses out of context to make them say whatever he wanted. That has always stuck with me. I think I could sense Brian's (scroll down after clicking link, Brian Hatcher) hesitancy while presenting the lesson. Maybe it was just gas but I thought he seemed somewhat unsettled.

Anyway, track has officially ended and spring football has taken hold. It is a Monday through Thursday till 5:00-ish commitment for 4 weeks. I thank God for Jana every day. Her support is comforting and encouraging to me. I love her with all my heart! Thanks baby! Sorry if that got too mushy.

Every morning I hug and kiss on Jana in front of the kids and they gag. I did too (gag), but I knew my dad and mom loved each other without question. I want to pass that legacy on to my children. Thanks mom! And no, I do not need or want to hear about you and Richard! Too much of a good thing.............................

Mass Exodus

This is the most hectic time of year for those in the teaching profession. Things are especially so at our house. We are all locking forward to a slower more relaxing pace at the Simmons' house. I am personally anticipating spending time with Jana and the kids. They are my world.

On my biblical journey, I have entered Exodus. Moses and Aaron have just led the Israelites out of Egypt. What was the deal with Pharoh? I thought I might be hard-headed but I think he may be the most stubborn individual in the history of the Jack-Ass. I hope to be more sensitive to God's direction. I would not like the plague of boils, gnats, or worse.

I've got to teach Sunday School for a Week!

Genesis continues to leave me in shock and awe. The level of deception I have discovered is quite interesting. Not to be out done by Lot's daughters, I offer exhibits A and B. Exhibit A...a man is killed by God for "spilling his seed on the ground (ch. 38)." Exhibit B...Jacob's wife fakes her period to hide idols she stole from her father (ch. 31). Correct me if I am wrong, but I do not think Lifeway has yet to create a Sunday School lesson for these incidents. There are off-Broadway musicals, maybe I can pen some off-Lifeway lessons. Genesis...Keep it coming! I'm up to Joseph's rise to power in Egypt...around chapter 42.

Genesis

I am slowly reading through the first book of the bible for the first time. I am discovering some new things and I'm shocked by others as I remember and read the stories. For instance, I just realized that the Earth was flooded by rain alone. The bible says the springs burst forth as well. I always thought it would take more that 40 days to flood the Earth and its tallest mountains.

I had heard the story of Sodom and Gomorrah in Sunday School as a kid and never really paid attention to the details other than someone turning into a pillar of salt. I always thought that that would be cool to see. While reading yesterday, I was surprised by the Shawshank moment at Lot's house in Sodom. I was even more dismayed by Lot offering his virgin daughters to the mob of homos surrounding his house. Then of course there was the scene where these same daughters got their dad drunk and seduced him becoming pregnant.

Is the world really worse now than then? I'm thinking probably not. People are people...wicked is wicked...sick is sick.

How does God Talk?

This morning my boys (4 and 8) were talking about our upcoming trip. They are both extremely excited. My older boy told the younger to ask God to help him not to be so excited. The younger asked, "How does God talk to us?" Big brother answered, "He talks to us when we read the bible." As I was basking in the depth of his understanding, little brother replies, "But I cant read!"

Well I can read, and I am going to try to read through the Bible this year for the first time in my life. I am not committing to read every day but to be diligent to read more regularly. Last night, I read (with my oldest) Genesis 1-5. People sure lived a long time back in the day. I was also surprised that Cain and Abel had a brother named Seth. That probably makes me a biblical idiot but hey, I am. Bible names are so random. With names like Seth, why use Enoch or Mahalalel. I am also going to try to read another book this year, Pillars of the Earth. Here's hoping. Anyway, I hope to get back to posting more often... no promises but I will try.

The Sky is Falling...nope, just Poop.

Lovely, thanks for watching.

Falling from the Sky

Lovely, thanks for watching.

Impacting Lives??

On good days, I feel like I make my students' days more tolerable. I try to make an impact on their lives but the reality is that only some will remember me or what I tried to impart to them. Recently, due to Facebook, I was reconnected to a few former students now in their 20s. They were all doing well. It is good to see kids grow up and become successful adults although it makes me feel really old. I feel that I had a small role in their success. Ironically, I do not feel like I have a role in the utter failure of my young hoopsters (Huh, love the irony).

Mercifully, the season is nearly over and I will have more time to help Jana with morning duties. My wife is amazing! Thanks to all of those who had a part in making her the woman, mother, friend, and companion she is today. God has blessed me!

New Look

Well as you can see, I got tired of the old look. I felt like the blog was trapped in some boy's room stuck to the border that wrapped around the room. This feels more like me.

Since the last post, we have a new President. I hear that he had to be sworn in again yesterday due to the first botched attempt. Does that mean today would be his real first day? Who was President while he was not official? Bidden? Is Barak really the 45th President? I do wish Barak the best and hope he can fulfill half of the expectations many have for his presidency. Good luck to President Bush as he acclimates himself to life behind iron gates, oh wait, he's been there for 8 years, different address now. I bet he can get his Secret Service Agents to pull his trash out to the curb.

The Church vs My Church

In our SS class this week, our most excellent teacher posed some questions about the "Church." It got me thinking about the differences between "The Church" (Followers of Christ) and my church. I guess I realized for the first time that I am a Baptist as well as a member of a non/multiple/denominational church. I love analogies so one might compare it to government. Governments operate on a local, city, county, state, and Federal levels. I'm not intending this to be blasphemous, just a comparison to help me grasp a slippery concept. I used to ask my dad why the Baptists were right and everyone else was wrong. I think I am just beginning to see the answer for the first time.
Circular thoughts:
My church is just one small part of "The Church" but not all members of my church are followers of Christ therfore not members of "The Church." I guess they are prospects???

Happy New Year?

Well greetings to all of my blog followers. I have not abandoned you. I have received the tens of comments about my lack of bloggingfulnessability. You have been heard and here I go. I will attempt to summarize my "goings on" over the past few weeks. I have not missed Hoops! I am now entering the gauntlet of tournaments for the next 5 weekends. I was on break from school as well as the treadmill. I have resumed my daily regime of jogging. Semester tests are upon me so I am facing a ton of grading and mass confusion. I will have more time in another week or so.